Interview with Bridget Jackson, Founder of Key Life Fitness
March 2, 2018
In this episode, I interview Bridgette on her start-up journey.
A blog by Gayon Bramwell
Category
In this episode, I interview Bridgette on her start-up journey.
Last year, I launched a blog and celebrated my birthday in style by watching Hurricane Matthew glide right over my neighborhood. (How special can you be when hurricanes literally show up for your party???) Our region wasn’t impacted very much. But thank God for a general community of news alerts, emergency preparedness, etc. Hurricanes are a part of life in Florida.
With the news of Hurricane Irma being a cat 5, you gotta hope for the best and brace for the worst. Especially with news updates like this.
With the launch of this new online space, I wanted to capture something that is a part of the normal life pattern of the average South Floridian – that is, hurricane readiness. This isn’t a normal blog article and I’m definitely not the go-to hurricane guide expert.
But as your internet friend/someone who endured Hurricane Andrew/curator of life lessons in 500 characters or less, I figured why not post something that is hella basic for survival.
And so here’s some tips for getting prepared if you haven’t already:
Know where your closest shelter is in your neighborhood
Subscribe to your city’s emergency updates
Determine the best foods to have in your house for 7 days with no water/power
Prepare your own hurricane kit should the storm come
Peanut butter
Whole wheat crackers
Nuts & Trail mixes
Granola Bars
Canned tuna/Salmon/Chicken
Canned vegetables
Canned Soup
Bottled Water (think a gallon/day per person; 8 16 oz bottles/day)
Multivitamins
(Adapted from Real Simple)
Apples
Oranges
Avocados
Tomatoes
(Sources SP Times, Real Simple)
Manual Can Opener
Dust Mask
2-Way Opener
Lighter/Matches
Batteries
Weather Radio
Flashlights
Fuel cans & Fuel
Fueled vehicle
Paper Towel & Toilet Paper
Fire Extinguisher
Tarps
(Adapted from Accuweather.com)
And lastly, make sure you have copies of important documents like your property insurance, identification, will, etc and are all in water-proof or safe locations. Subtext: If you’re a millennial, you probably should have this stored in the cloud already. 🙂
With care,
Short sentences have now become a new life goal for me. Probably because I’m more interested in quality content over length of content. And I’ve got a crazy writing goal this summer.
So here goes.…
In no particular order….
Worked for a toxic staffing company for 3 months then quit on day 90. Day 91 no other job lined up. Thought I’d be my own entrepreneur. #YOLO. Picked up project work for small businesses and what not. Start my own coaching business too. Those bills thoooooo. #NOYO Lesson: Don’t make quantum leaps in business start-up with no plan, no earmarked savings, and without additional support for your new commitment.
Went on a summer exchange program in high school to Cambridge University in London, England back. It was amazing. Bright minds. International students. Tea time at 2 pm. Tennis on grass courts. Grateful grateful grateful a la Hezekiah Walker. But….. Didn’t have a passport to return home to the US. Thank you Mom & Dad for making me believe I could leave the country with just my naturalized US citizen certificate. Lesson: Don’t trust your parents with quantum leaps involving logistic-government-approval stuff.
Started selling candy in middle school. My friends didn’t respect my hustle and wanted my candy for free. Lesson: These streets ain’t loyal. Stick to your business plan and find other streets to corner the market.
Decided to take private tennis lessons senior year of high school. Improved my game, confidence, and stamina. Completely lost district finals off my serve. Lesson: Listen to your coach when he says to practice a flat no-brainer serve.
Graduated college with a business degree yet decided to become a teacher at a troubling middle school. Worked for 2 years. Found out my salary would only increase by 10% after 10 years in the field *with* a grad degree. Hated my job, my pay, and the students were rough. Pursued nursing. 3 months into nursing school: “Nah,” God said. “Why don’t you really pursue your passion for writing, speaking, and coaching?” Lesson: Make quantum leaps in line with how you sense God created you.
Tried online dating. Drew up a friendship with a pretty swell guy from South Africa. Wanted more out of our relationship. (LOL at my naivete) Decided to event-plan his entire surprise birthday party by face-booking his sister for help in coordinating + group messaging his friends an invitation to his surprise bday party at his sister’s house + ordering his favorite cake to be delivered to his job + sending a signed copy of his favorite author’s new book to his door. (Note: I did not show up to South Africa) But….. Where are they now a la OWN Network? He married someone in South Africa + I’m in a relationship with someone in South Florida. Lesson: Don’t make a quantum leap for love across the globe. Stay at least in your hemisphere state.
Listen, listen, listen. As we get older, we realize the importance of relationships. Yet, sometimes certain ones get neglected or taken for granted. And so, here we have it: A little encouraging push to recalibrate with those you consider your inner-circle, your peeps, your posse, those who know you for real for real.
Make no mistake, shtuff happens. Season change. Life can drastically slow down. Or drastically speed up. As well, your idea of what it takes for you to focus in getting something (a project, a degree, a personal goal) done can perhaps change the way you socialize. And in those changes, your bandwidth of time to be with people you love can be affected.
To those of you who know what I’m talking about, I’m with you. For those that don’t, let me drill down on this a bit more. As a single woman, for varying reasons, we can pull away from friends and family – be it for good reasons or arbitrary ones.
Whatever the reason is, it’s still not good to live in isolation.
And of course, I’m not talking about a complete siphoning off yourself from people, in general. No. I’m talking about the small drift from having quality time with the people that matter to you, at heart. If we’re honest, sometimes it can be tempting to not be around friends not because you don’t have time, but because we’re still dealing with the sadness of our loneliness, the unresolved envy or disappointment and the mystery of our singleness. Unfortunately, we get our mental wires crossed and mistakenly make ourselves think that if we have less time with our married friends or our family (who can sometimes remind us of our singleness), that it’ll be ok. We’ll be fine. Better. Happier.
But
Truth is – even though we’re single, we don’t need to live singular.
We need good ol’ community.
You know – the kind where you laugh at life while you eat a meal together. Or the kind where you create space to have the conversations where sentences start with “Y’know what I’ve been realizing lately….” Or “I’ve kind of been having to deal with…..”
And the perfume of life gets sprayed and the smelling salts of authentic vulnerability wakes your soul up.
Relationships matter. And they matter way before someone puts a ring on your finger.
It’s a beautiful thing to learn and practice loving people — individual human beings who uniquely carry meaning in your life. Certainly, as a single, I have felt that real love gets practiced when I’m married and learn to love my husband and then my kids.
But the journey doesn’t start then. And it won’t end there either.
So here’s some non-novel, super-duper simple ways of re-investing in your relationships:
ASAP. Especially if their passion has no connection to you or your passions aren’t complementary. Doing this will not only be like playing their favorite song, it’ll be like you giving them space to have your attention squarely on them about their desires.
Of course, people want you to remember their birthdays. Of course, get them a Christmas card (if your relationship swings that way). But spending money on a gift for no specific reason is a colossal compliment to the inner-child of everyone. You might say “But gifts aren’t their love language” or “They have all they need or want.” Patooey! It doesn’t matter! Gifts – big or small – have the wonderful ability of letting your friend know that hey you’re awesome – I thought about you, exerted my locomotive energy into getting you something, and then ensured that you got it. That’s thoughts x3. That matters.
Life gets rushy. And you sure don’t need to eat with your folks, grand-folks or siblings, ‘cuz y’know, you grown now. But, as it stands – these people are family. *Your* family. They want to be loved, known, appreciated, and valued just like you. As time passes, they’re the ones you can easily take for granted. Choose to make a space to not let that happen. Choose to laugh with them and enjoy the simple pleasure of eating with them.
I’m talking simply sharing something on facebook, linkedin, in an email or via text. It doesn’t matter what it is. The point here is that you are listening. You hear them. You were attentive to the goals they’re tackling probably on a daily basis or something they’re trying to accomplish this year. People’s professional life can take a gray, non-existent stage sometimes. But it is refreshing when you take the time to encourage your friend by strengthening them with a resource – a reminder that you care about their work.
Yo, why do we forget that people have tastebuds….and that they get hungry? This kind of mini-investment is special, because it shows you know their tastebuds. J It’s a ridiculously beautiful thing when you not only know something about your friend – big or small – but actually show evidence that you know them. Buying their favorite meal or making it for them is one way. You are showing love — with your time, your care, your preparation, and the quality time you may spend with them eating it. Just do it. It’s so easy. You’re gonna eat anyway. J
Listen, I’m all for emails, texts, and phone calls. But there’s a premium on hand-written anything! (It’s probably the reason why certain fonts being sold now are trending). There’s a visceral appreciation in anything that’s handwritten. Maybe it’s the fact that it takes more time to write something down. Maybe it’s the unique lettering of the person writing it. Maybe it’s both. Something is lost in all the virtual. Handwritten notes make things feel real. Makes it feel vintagely authentic. (Not saying emails and texts aren’t valuable – c’mon now). All I’m saying is, switch it up sometimes and write meaningful words appreciating that friend or family member. They’ll love it.
Notice this isn’t the first thing. I’m all for prayer, but forgetting to love people in real time is serious business. Yet again, don’t forget to pray for your family and friends. If they’re special to you, why not? If you value them, how much more does God? If you feel they’re going through a rough time, why not ask for God’s help in their situation? Dedicate some space in your day — perhaps your own prayer time for yourself, to bless and pray for the relationships you’re wanting to reinvest in. Hear from God about how he feels for them. Be open to whatever song, scripture, or prayer comes on your heart that may encourage them in the future, if you want to disclose it to them.
Sometimes in all of our life’s busyness our connection to friends can feel cold. We can almost give off the feeling of not needing those we love. Asking for prayer is a reminder to yourself and to your friends that you value them – their prayers, their help, their thoughts. The after-effect as a by-product is your friends realize that you care about their role in your life.
No need for super-long essays, declarations of appreciation, or lavish words about how much you value your friend or family. C’mon now – they know. You know. But those little bitty reminders on any random day? #Priceless. You know what I’m talking about. It can be as simple and basic as “Thinking of you girlie” or it can even be a screenshot of a pic and you sending it to your friend saying “Love you.” Listen, it doesn’t matter how simple it is. The point is – send your love. Don’t just think of them and not do anything. Send your thought to them not matter how basic it is. You don’t reinvest in a relationship just by thinking of the relationship, you actually take steps to show you enjoy and are present in this relationship.
All in all, the whole intent here is for you to boost your relational intelligence by taking action. Stop waiting for someone to catch your eye or a spouse to then get serious about how to love and when to. Love isn’t dependent on your relationship status. You can choose to value the people in your life with more than words (and dare I say it — with more than the things listed above). Take people in your life seriously. They are special.
Choose to re-invest in them.
Y’all. Seriously. It’s so important that we as singles do a reality check regularly about our general thoughts on singleness.
As you know, it can be way tooooo easy to think that singleness is all negative, boring, sad, and absent of any fun or celebration. Because this kind of thinking is a thing, I’d like to call it something for quick reference: Single-itis. Often times, it can be the subtle trick of our minds in succumbing to negativity or it’s the mental diet we keep.
But my opinion is the symptoms can be triggered from a few common things we all see:
You know…
Facebook posts from friends about their fourth child’s third birthday’s second opportunity at blowing out the candles for the first time (because they couldn’t do it the first birthday, so the 2nd birthday was really the first chance. You feel me?) Or it’s the Instagram photos of your friends’ 6th year anniversary at their fifth exotic vacation spot. Or the summer influx of invitations to weddings with preceding bridal showers, lingerie parties and engagement photos 100 days prior to the wedding.
Listen. In the words of Kanye…..
…..It ain’t no joke.
Most of the items I mentioned above are just normal, commonplace, occurrences of friends and family who are growing and living their lives.
People take pictures. They share the pictures.
People get married. They share the marriage photos.
People have kids. They share every stage of their baby’s development (lololol).
This is just normal stuff. And quite frankly, because our generation operates in a more fiercely shared-economy (i.e. social media just runs the show nowadays), we have much more access to the personal scrapbook of others than we might’ve had if we were adulting 20 years or so ago. The circumstances are external, but they can certainly remind you of your own longing for a family, namely a spouse who can be your companion and kids to call your own that you can raise yourself. All normal.
The internal landscape of our hearts might include as well a mixed bag of sadness and even emotional fatigue of constantly choosing to not compare yourself, to not envy, to not question if you missed out on something or missed a step in your younger years. Without putting in the work of reflection, prayer, safe places to talk to friends, and counseling, it can be simply be far too tempting to grow sour about your own singleness or maybe even turn off your faith for marriage. Trust me, I completely understand.
But maybe.
Maybe there’s a way to reframe your singleness to not be so negative.
Maybe you can genuinely have a positive attitude towards being alone. (This isn’t a joke).
Maybe there’s a level of work you have to do to learn to enjoy yourself while single (almost equivalent to married couples learning to enjoy their marriage through every phase of their lives).
Maybe you’ve got to face the beautiful opportunity of owning your singleness and changing the sad narrative you naturally feel or have been influenced to believe.
And that’s the purpose of this blog post.
There’s a place for venting your emotions. Being honest about your hurt, loneliness, disappointment. But griping about singleness can’t become your norm and mode of operating. It’s just not healthy, my friend.
Over the years I’ve learnt that my tongue is like a rudder to my soul. Powerful driver of my emotions. And a leader in my own thinking. So if I talk about singleness in a negative light – whether jokingly or not – with friends and family, I may be reinforcing a negative attitude, working against myself.
But if I can choose to find the positives. Talk about them. And make an effort to meditate and dwell on the positives, I will foster a genuine happiness and a better perspective on life. In the words of Valorie Burton, “happy women live better.” To that end, here’s a list describing the 5 silver linings of singleness:
You have lots of time.
I’m not saying you’re schedule isn’t full. And I’m certainly not saying you always feel like you can get everything done. What I am pointing out here is marriage and children requires time, focus, and dedicated energy. Just think for a moment – when was the last time your sleep schedule was predicated on a new resident of society who couldn’t stay asleep for longer than 3-hour spurts? When was the last time you had to schedule a nanny to watch little people who look like you so you can go off to an event or a date? TONS. If you had these two responsibilities right now, it would probably shift some things that you truly are enjoying with your time currently (either out of the picture completely OR to an indefinite later date). So, while you’re single, continue or begin to appreciate that you have lots of time to give to your career, church, non-profit organizations, your immediate family, or passion projects. Begin to see that while your single, you can use this time to experiment, make lasting impacts, or explore a bit for your own personal benefit and others.
You can take risks.
No one’s talking about stupid risks. (But then, again, what is stupid and what is a risk is soooo subjective). The idea is once you have a family or even just a spouse, your own willingness to explore a new opportunity, change direction professionally, return to school or not is probably going to change. While single (and depending on your own temperament) there’s a huge opportunity for you to be agile professionally, change your lifestyle, and take a chance on an investment of your time or money. Give some space to appreciating those risks you’ve taken. Cherish them. Good, bad, or ugly. I bet you learnt something treasurable from each.
You have more bandwidth for friends and depth with close ones.
This may not apply to you if you’re a staunch introvert and antisocial with a capital A. But the reality is, it’s madly difficult to even maintain friendships when you’re married (per all my married friends who don’t be calling me back lololol. #AllLove #CallMeBackTho), let alone kick-off new ones. So the idea here is, while you’re single you can allow yourself to grow deeper with current friends *and* make space for new ones. This is a wonderful thing to invest in. Whenever you can share a unique experience, an event, or a conversation with an old or new friend, you’re allowing yourself to give and receive love that has nothing to do with romance (the glamorous idea of love that many of us want in a relationship). And that is an epic marker of maturity. Feel free to increase your friends’ love tanks through your words and actions and let them do the same.
You can change your whole lifestyle at the drop of a dime.
Ok ok ok, maybe not the drop of a dime (that’s like around 3 seconds), but get the pic. Think about it: If you wanted you can probably quit or change your job; figure out where you want to move to and the lowest cost to move there; and then – boom – just go. The feeling is you can take advantage of singleness being like a sporty coup rather than a family mini-van with kids car seats. If you really wanted to change something major in your life, there’s just less obstacles to do so. This applies to minor stuff to: Wanna take a class 3x a week on Tuesday and Thursday at 6 pm. No sweat. Add to the calendar. Wanna change up your weekend routine and have lunch in the arts district of your city. #Done and #Done. No family meeting. No calendar analysis. You can just go do that.
You can reflect God’s leadership and love in your life unlike married couples.
It is quite the norm to hear how God answered people’s prayers for a husband and kids at engagement parties and weddings. Finding a compatible spouse and learning how to lead a family are unequivocally hard things to discover (#GodHelp). But there’s a space in our collective communities to see how God can satisfy the hearts of people who are single (especially if you’ve been a single for a substantive amount of time) by answering their unique prayers. Maybe that’s greater confidence in yourself. Maybe you’ve had a vision for a book you want to write. Maybe there’s a business you’ve wanted to start. Maybe you’ve returned to school in order to improve your professional life. Or maybe you’ve started a ministry or are endeavoring to an overseas missions project and would like God to answer your pointed prayers where you’ll be working. Maybe you’ve been praying for healing in a certain area of your body, your family or for someone else. The idea here is singles have the silver lining of being a sign of the beautiful leadership of God (sans the conventional expected guideposts of a husband and/or marriage responsibilities). As a single woman, you can remind people that absent of a marital commitment, your life is still filled with love, purpose, sacrifice, responsibility, honorable conviction, and celebration. So do so. Like now.
Good news, you singles, you’ve got lots of things to be grateful for.
Okay soo… Quite often we can easily fail to ask ourselves deeper than normal questions because of the rush of life.
Gotta get to work.
Prep for a meeting.
Debrief from that meeting.
Meet a deadline from that meeting
Pay a bill.
Make more money to pay more bills.
Go to grad school and accumulate more bills.
….All of this can make you feel like:
Right? And of course make time for the in-between life chores and fun with friends. Oh and go on that date too. (Bulleee ‘dat). BUT. As a young professional, taking time to reflect gets easily pushed out of the way for all those reasons. Personally, I feel I miss out on the treasure hunt of understanding myself, increasing my own self-awareness, and learning what huge hidden motivators are behind the decisions I make and behaviors I have.
I believe there’s a ton of work to be done while single in becoming mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically healthy.
This blog piece was written to trigger greater reflection. That’s it. These questions are listed with that in mind. To give you a window into my own life, I have observed that whenever a couple of friends were dating and desired to get married, the natural next step was to schedule time for pre-marital counseling. (To be clear, this typically happened after their engagement). But even before that, I’ve been impressed with the many friends who have sought counseling from mentors and leaders way before their engagement. It’s beautiful to see the time they take together to prioritize thinking about what’s up ahead in uniting their lives; their unique personalities and differences; learning how to communicate to each other better; and also sorting through all the ways their upbringing, backgrounds, and self-imposed ideas can and will dictate their relationship. Beautiful, just beautiful.
The way I’ve transposed that same beauty in my own life as a single woman is by carving out time to journal, reflect, talk to myself, with God, with safe friends and on and on and on. Yea, so I’m pretty sure that I’m what you’d consider to be something like a Millennial contemplative. I deeply value taking time out to pray and think. Think and pray. To the point that “prinking” is a thing. Yes sir. We be prinking.
So here’s the deal: 30 questions. Not exhaustive by any means. Take time to read through. Maybe they’ll prompt you in your own reflection (or prinking ha!). Maybe not. Maybe they’ll prompt you to have a conversation with a safe friend about how you feel as a single. Maybe not. Maybe they’ll just help you face a hidden motivator and guide you to be more self-aware around why you do the things you do or why you think the way you think regarding singleness.
I want to note – in the best interest for your own contemplation. Don’t rush this. Give yourself permission to read this slowly, pray slowly, think slowly. Said differently – you don’t have to wait for pre-marital counseling (read: someone wanting to marry you) to be deeply interested in what makes you ‘you’ and where your whole framework for living comes from and affects you personally and your relationships.
Invest quality time in yourself, you beautiful single you.
….cuz introspection will always be sexy.
What question really stood out to you the most? Feel free to comment below or email me at hello@sheventuresnow.com.
For many of us, we’ve been conditioned to think that the passion we most want in life is found in romance and marriage. Or that the purpose we most want to fulfill is found in being a spouse and parent. I nod at these conditioned thoughts. I get it. And I think we all do.
But we’ve got to clear up the dust in our thinking. At least, I’ve had to. If you’re like me, while you have waited in the invisible line for your serving of marriage, you’ve allowed yourself to indulge in deeper thought about what it is you’re waiting for.
Perhaps you are waiting for companionship. (Yep, I feel you and am with you on that want.) But peer deeper into that desire, what do you want in that companionship? What’s the joy in that companionship your heart longs for?
You’re probably a mixed bag of desire with me on this — love, responsibility, sex, pillow talk, or all of the above. (I feel you!) At the end of the day, sometimes it’s just not that deep: We want a lover. (@%^#&$!) A friend committed to journey with us. A friend who will look at you each day as you grow. (Are you with me or do you feel me?) [hyperlink to is we done or are you finished?]
:::::Sighs::::::
I just wonder though, if we could extract the beauty of companionship (and what it calls out of us — committed, focused, mature, thoughtful, sacrificial, generous, sensitive etc.) and place the extraction in a bottle of perfume to sell to singles what would it smell like?
Think of it – What would it look to be and live committed, focused, mature, thoughtful, sacrificial and generous while single? (By no means is that an exhaustive list of course). Here’s my hunch: It would smell like passion and purpose (Y’know like roses and lilies, lol. Idk – but hang with me on the analogy). Of course, I can’t tell you what passion and purpose respectively smell like. But track with me on the comparison.
I believe when the time comes for marriage we have a conditioned attitude that then we will be more focused, more settled about our lifestyle, and more committed to where we invest our time. And this is just reality.
But, hear me out, oh single one. To all of us, singles, who have allowed ourselves to meander in being non-committal, wandering in our loneliness, and playing games with our focus and our God-given potential….
You have got to stop waiting around for marriage before you to commit to [insert your unique passion + purpose here].
Listen, it’s just time for you to stop waiting. And you know what I’m talking about, I’m not talking about career or job goals here. I’m talking real life goals and dreams and purposeful activity.If you’ve been waiting for a sign. Here it is:
I’m calling all the singles in the place with style and grace to stop waiting for him to put a ring on it and put a ring on your passion and purpose.
Marry yourself to your God-given dreams, your destiny, your out-the-box goals and ideas.
I’m not saying be crazy, I’m just saying you’ve gotta stop this misguided idea of “I’ll wait for my husband to come before I really pursue my dreams.”
Or how about “I’ll wait for my husband before I ever think about buying a home.”
Or “I guess I’ll wait for my husband
Let’s stop this madness.
Our adulthood is not on hold. Go run after your calling and vision for greatness.
Listen, as one woman once said:
I strongly believe while we are single we can still behold the beauty of living with passion and purpose (traits we would embody while in a meaningful relationship).
And so, here’s a list of 7 signs of a single who is living with passion and purpose. (I don’t pretend that any of descriptions below are novel, but I think it’s important for us to be reminded to really live well and intentionally. It’s a main aspect of the art we carry of our singleness, get it?).
You’re vigilant with your money.
AKA you actually have a budget. Listen, even if you aren’t great with money, everyone can at least have three goals with their money to help keep them from frivolous spending or poor decisions with financial investments. Financial goals are important, singles! It need not become important once you have a wedding on the way or need to move into a house.
What’s more, life floats off money. Adulthood ain’t easy. Shtuff (intentionally spelt incorrectly) just costs ALOT…and no you can’t haggle down your emergency flat tire expense, that unexpected funeral expense, and that missed overseas flight that you have to spot for. And those are just emergencies. *You* actually have productive goals with your money – things you want to produce with the money you’ve earned. Maybe it’s a major purchase, an experience you want to have, or access to a network you’ve desired to have. Either way, purpose-driven singles keep an eye on their money.
You intentionally pursue certain friendships and not others.
This means you have discernment and are not only intellectually mature but also emotionally mature to see that whoever’s in your inner circle can greatly affect your mindset, your feelings, and your trajectory. You live with a reminder that you are the average of your closest five friends (Jim Rohn). I’ll never forget what one mentor said to me – with a stern face he said “There comes a time where you will have to separate yourself from friends who unintentionally hold you back.” On the converse, you pursue and invest in friendships that not only refreshes you, but for whom you can add value that is appreciated. You pursue the friends that want you the most because you recognize they value you as much as you value them.
You manage your time like a boss.
Time blocks. Sleep. “I’m unavailable.” You suggest times and dates. Listen, don’t let people run your schedule. Most of the time it’s unintentional but watch out. When you’re living with passion around your dreams and goals, you guard your time like Buckingham Palace [insert picture]. Singles who do this understand wholesome advice [link to scripture] on time. One of them is “…..” This isn’t a joke. Just think when you’re married how direct and specific with your time you’ll be with your lover or your children. [insert visceral emotion around how committed you’ll be] See! Not playing with your time isn’t just a practice for marriage, it’s just a best practice for life.
You have a morning routine.
Success leaves clues. Success leaves clues. Success. Leaves. Clues. And some of the most productive people on the planet have a routine they do as soon as they rise. FLOTUS. Mothers with 4 kids, a marriage, and a business to run. Oprah. That manager at your job that just kills it at the workplace. Why? Morning routines. One of the main ingredients of highly successful people is they are emotionally and mentally in touch with their purpose and recognize their best selves come through when they get started as soon as they wake up. Need some help? Just google it or go here.
You read.
Maybe it’s the actual newspaper. Maybe it’s blogs of people who inspire you – your virtual mentors, peers in the same industry as you, or just interesting things that get your mental juices flowing. Maybe it’s books regarding your career, your faith, your money. Whatev. The point is READ. Stay on the up and up. Understand the time you’re living in. Make progress with things you have interest in. And keep the gray matter at the top of your body working.
You pursue mentorship.
Key word: You. Somewhere in the cobwebs of our minds we may think people should flock to help us at every turn of life, every chapter, every season, every adventure we’re on. Not so little butterfly. Learning in life truly isn’t as programmatic as the American education system has raised us to believe. Your classes and teachers aren’t pre-formatted; and no people whom you’d like to emulate don’t have walk-in office hours for you to just pick their brain. *You* have to do the leg-work to make this happen. This is called: Work. Enjoy the pursuit.
You have memorized goals.
Having goals is a start. But if I had to state one of the major reasons I don’t fulfill my own goals it’d probably be because I simply forget them. Memorization is a thing of the past. Old school, maybe. But it doesn’t matter: There’s no newer upgrade of technology to just state your goals, write them down, and remind yourself daily. And a part from your hand-written notes, be able to recount from the heart what your goals are, your deadlines, and why they’re important to you. I strongly believe memorizing your goals helps your mind naturally block the distractions and make sharper decisions that’ll bypass the potholes of your journey.
You are using your singleness to accomplish extraordinary tasks.
Meaning, out-of-the-ordinary. Meaning not usual stuff. Passionate people recognize some periods of life you may not have what you want (namely for this blog, a lover + some kids); but they also realize the opportunities they *do* have and take advantage of them. In other words, purposeful singles make the best of their time while single *knowing* life may not ever be this loosely constrained. (To be clear, raising a family will be just as extraordinary but different, no less).
You choose to work smarter.
People get praised all the time for appearing as the hardest working person in the room. Yes, yes and hella- yes. Kudos, sir and madam. But people in 2016 can make some serious dents in work productivity with less strenuous or laborious methods than before. (I have no specific examples to provide, but will provide some later). In short, purposeful singles figure out the ways in which to get things done just as effectively as conventional methods have taught, but efficiently and in their own way. Millennial singles it’s time to shine here. Maybe it’s with your banking solutions, your bill payments, your personal errands. Maybe it’s with how you cook. Again, the principle here is working smarter. Work can and will be inherently hard. Wise are those who do it smarter and reap the extra hours, days, and weeks because of it.
You spread love, affection, fondness like buttah.
…Because who said you had to wait to learn how to love until your spouse comes along. Nope. #Lies. You choose to embrace the opportunity to give love in all sorts of different ways. You choose to learn the different love languages and the different personalities around you. It’s great practice, of course. But it’s probably just a great best practice at living well.
You turn up.
Hope-filled with inner-music on high, you choose to show up to life and it’s challenges with faith that God is with you. just.show.up. You choose to engage at work, make new friendships, laugh, and learn more and more. The journey is indefinite and you embrace the beauty and celebration within it. You choose to be grateful for all of life — the big and the in-between.
I love how this podcast gives a "boots-to-the-ground" perspective on issues swirling around in a millennial woman's mind.... dating, being happy while single, figuring out how to maximize your time as an unmarried woman are all things that most folks don't talk about. Really appreciate that this show gives space to hear how millennials took steps to do something like changing their career or starting a business. Great ideas. And I promise I'm not biased at all.
Wow, it's a hard realization that I fall into this demographic, but it's the (often harsh) reality of the world we're living in. This podcast is life!! We can all glean from each other, amirite?!
These are the kinds of conversations you have with good friends, soul-sharpening friends, coffee (wine) and notebook in hand, prematurely considering when you might get together again. Have you ever thought, I wish this was recorded? Gayon recorded it. And it's a breath of fresh air.
